Well being that im beginning to become a bit famous in the blog kingdom I figured it was finally time to improve that worn in leather faced feature I called a face. So i figure why not go and splurge and get the full facial reconstructive surgery and some laser therapy to boot. Now many of you are probably thinking..Well damn I thought he looked smooth and suave before what could he really be changing.. ..What could have been better. Well let me tell you what. Ive gone and changed all my features so that im an identical replica of what all women want and desire.....
Thats right baby its Chuck "Fuckin" Norris.Now none can resist my manly charms.
Well being that im beginning to become a bit famous in the blog kingdom I figured it was finally time to improve that worn in leather faced feature I called a face. So i figure why not go and splurge and get the full facial reconstructive surgery and some laser therapy to boot. Now many of you are probably thinking..Well damn I thought he looked smooth and suave before what could he really be changing.. ..What could have been better. Well let me tell you what. Ive gone and changed all my features so that im an identical replica of what all women want and desire.....
Thats right baby its Chuck "Fuckin" Norris.Now none can resist my manly charms.
5 comments:
Huh? I don't understand. Truely.
Of course...what women doesnt want chuck norris. LOL
*swoon*
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A Couple Chuck Norris facts I bet you didn't know
1- Takeru Kobayashi ate 50 and a half hotdogs in 12 minutes. Chuck Norris ate 12 asian babies in 50 and a half minutes. Chuck Norris won.
2- Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
3- Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
4- Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take yours. If you're thinking to yourself, "That's impossible, I already lost my virginity.", then you are dead wrong.
5- Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked her into a glacier.
6- Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
7- Chuck Norris ruins the endings of Harry Potter books for children who just bought one for the hell of it. When they start crying Chuck Norris calmly says, "I'll give you something to cry about," and roundhouse kicks them in the face.
8- At the end of each week, Chuck Norris murders a dozen white people just to prove he isn't a racist.
9- Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
10 - If you rearrange the letters in Vin Diesel it reveals his credo: "I End Lives."
11- If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
12- Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".
13- When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
14- Chuck Norris once went to a frat party, and proceeded to roundhouse every popped collar in sight. He then drank three kegs and shit on their floor, just because he's Chuck Norris.
15- Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
16- Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
17- Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
18- When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.
19- Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
20 - To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes.
21- There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.
22- Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
23 - The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
24 - Chuck Norris won 'Jumanji' without ever saying the word. He simply beat the living shit out of everything that was thrown at him, and the game forfeited.
25 - Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
26 - Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
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